Thursday, March 12, 2009

Popular Majors for Incoming Gazan Students

The Obama administration is letting its inner-Hussein peek through the burka of obfuscation. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced that American tax dollars will be spent on funding the education of residents of the Gaza Strip, pending the rubber-stamping by the Democratic-controlled Congress. () These funds supplement the nine hundred million dollars headed to support the Islamists in the Gaza Strip, Judea and Samaria. Mrs. Clinton did not indicate how the money would be allocated with such pressing priorities such the purchase of American and Israeli flags for desecration, the procurement of stones for hurling and rockets for launching at Israelis in addition to acquisition of knives for clitorectomies and beheadings of infidels.

Americans may have an interest in how their taxes will be dispensed in this case of halal pork. An informal and unscientific survey of the future recipients would indicate some intriguing choices of courses. We invite you to review the following reasons for Mohamadans' interest in pursuing the following majors:

inorganic chemistry: "study proper steps to create explosives"

organic chemistry: "discover different means to poison infidels"

physics: "learn to increase velocity of shrapnel in suicide-vests"

home-economics education: "discover new ways to create even more oppressive burkas"

English: "improve grammar and spelling for writing on banners displayed in anti-Israel/anti-American rallies plus expand arsenal of epithets to yell at Western media's cameras"

applied mathematics: "obtain new methods of counting up victims of attacks without resorting to their traditional method of removing sandals to count above ten"

riflery: "perfecting the use of fewer bullets to slay infidels"

cellular and molecular biology: "delve into how to mutate more deadly micro-organisms to infect infidels"

film arts: "improve quality of beheading videos such as adding three-dimensional effects and surround-sound"

women's studies: "find out the multitude of ways Allah created women inherently inferior to men"

Jewish Studies: "gain knowledge of all the wicked deeds Jews have committed in the past (assassination of Anwar Sadat and Adolf Hitler, destruction of World Trade Center, et cetera) plus the nefarious schemes that they are currently plotting"

computer science: "master hacking into databases to steal technological secrets and information about infidels obstructing establishment of caliphate"

automotive engineering: "develop and build the perfect car bomb"

aviation and air transportation: "determine means to streamline hijacking procedures"

nuclear engineering: "Do we really have the spell out this one?"

civil engineering: "understand how infidels build structures so we can destroy them"

electrical technology: "diversify the uses of electricity in the torture of hostages"

comparative literature: "understand why every book ever written is automatically inferior to the Koran"

conflict resolution/peace studies: "pick up lingo used by useful idiots in appeasement movement to convince them Islam is 'a religion of peace'"

criminal justice/law enforcement: "determine how to exploit freedom in order to destroy concepts of representative democracy and universal human rights"

German: "acquire ability to converse with escaped Nazis about greatness of 'Final Solution'"

religious studies/theology: "brush up on platitudes explaining why Islam is superior to other religions"

pre-law: "learn how to identify most treacherous, self-loathing American attorneys to defend jihadis after arrests"

foreign languages: "understand how to say 'Give me my taxpayer-funded public housing, food subsidies and welfare check NOW!' in various Western European languages"

history: "read about glorious Golden Age of Islam and how the West has repressed Islam with its running water, disease prevention, underarm deodorant and so forth"

political science/government: "find out about outrageous notions such as women's suffrage, emancipation of slaves and power by consent of the governed in order to undermine them"

geography: "locate suitable locations around the world for next bombings, hijackings and other acts of jihad"

public affairs: "develop ability to utter statements like 'Under Islam, women are respected.', 'Islam is a religion of peace' and 'Islam promotes human rights' without bursting into laughter"

legal assisting: "look for legal loopholes to allow jihadis to escape criminal prosecution"

martial arts: "study techniques to kill infidels when no AK-47 or knife is available"

After reviewing these, one can easily state that many justifications exist for this expenditure of hundreds of millions of dollars. Of course, none of these actually benefit the American people. They do accomplish the goal of placating the appeasement movement with its delusion that subsidizing the Mohamadans will pacify the jihadis. Of course, spending those sums of money on eliminating the jihadis remains the most logical and direct solution, just not the politically correct one.


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