Monday, August 23, 2010

Cultural Sensitivity for That Sacred Day in September

The people of the Free World will be commemorating the deaths of nearly three thousand civilians at the hands of jihadis next month. What can Mohamadans do to ensure that they do not unwittingly offend their civilized counterparts during the sacred month of September? In response to the demands of Mohamadans and of their useful idiots for deference to Islamic mandates regarding Ramabomb, I submit this list of equitable responses from them.

-Remove your burkas, nikabs, and all other misogynistic clothing that Islamists demand that every woman wear. We object to women being forced to hide under oppressive outfits because some men erroneously think that they cannot control their libidos.

-Leave your absurd superstitions like fear of sitting toilets and dogs plus your phobia of pork and alcohol in the Islamic bloc when you enter the Free World. We do not like to be told what we are allowed to eat or drink based on others’ delusions.

-Cease quoting from the Koran or any other Islamic texts that encouraged those terrorists to commit mass murder and condones their actions. We know that your supposedly sacred scriptures are full of hateful oppression directed toward us. We resent the threats which your ilk spews in reciting these totalitarian texts.

-Dispense with any absurd and baseless conspiracies that anyone other than nineteen Arab Mohamadans committed these crimes. At least have the decency to admit that your cult wants to kill us.

-Stop the plan to build a monument near Ground Zero to the Islamic terrorists who carried out the hijackings. Such a construction will provoke a formidable backlash against those who wish to gloat over our losses.

I wish a peaceful eleventh of September to all civilized people. Likewise, to all Mohamadans, I hope for your complete failure in all your attempts at violence during the remainder of Ramabomb.


1 comment:

Tarquin said...

I raise my glass to you and pet my dog. Tolerance is a one-way street in the islamic world.